Law & Order

In general Warsaw is far safer than most Western cities, and visitors are unlikely to face any problems. Petty crime does exist, and travellers should be on guard against pickpockets working tram and bus routes by the train station. If you’re in a bar or a restaurant keep your wallet inside your trouser pocket, not inside a jacket casually left lying around. Those travelling by car are advised to use a guarded car park. Avoid being ripped off by opportunistic taxi gits by using clearly marked cabs, something to bear in mind around the train station and airport. The officially sanctioned state company MPT (tel. 22 19191) is possibly the best bet, and their switchboard features English speaking operators. The vagrants and pondlife who gather around the train station are by in large harmless and easily ignored. Warsaw’s right bank has traditionally enjoyed something of a no-go reputation, though is now fast becoming ever more trendy.

Staying on the right side of the law is significantly easier for tourists who accept that Polish beer and vodka are rocket fuel and drink accordingly. If you’re determined to make an idiot of yourself then make sure it’s not in front of the law. In recent years visitors ranging from folks in Chewbacca costumes to complete fools who’ve thought it’s perfectly acceptable to drop trousers and urinate in a city centre fountain have tested the patience of the local law enforcement. Their tolerance threshold is now decidedly low so don’t push your luck. Those who do may well be treated to a trip to Warsaw’s premier drunk tank (ul. Kolska 2/4), a chastening experience which will set you back 250zł for a 6-24 hour stay. In return for your cash expect a strip search, a set of blue pyjamas and the company of a dozen mumbling vagrants. Those resisting arrest may well find themselves strapped down to a bed, One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest-style. Refreshment comes in the form of limitless coffee, though the mug sometimes comes with a smell of urine for a reason. Credit cards not accepted.

The other well-known ways tourists can cross cops is by jaywalking. If you are from a country which has no (or doesn’t respect) jaywalking laws, you'll be surprised to see a crowd of people standing obediently at a crossing waiting for the lights to change. This peculiarity has extra effect if you are aware of how little Poles respect the rules of the road in a vehicle, where it often feels like a survival of the fittest. The reason for the obedience of this particular rule is the fact that the local city police (Straż Miejska) will quite freely give you a 100zł fine for crossing a road at a place where no crossing is marked or a 100zł fine when the ‘walk’ light is red. And don’t think you are exempt by being a foreign visitor. You are subject to the law too and your non-residency means you will need to pay the fine on the spot (the helpful chaps will even accept foreign currency).