To understand Ukrainian politics, imagine a carnival complete with clowns, freaks and a main attraction where magicians make billions of hryvnia disappear from taxpayers’ pockets. That said, let’s get down to the nitty-gritty. Ukraine is a republic consisting of 24 provinces (oblast) and the Autonomous Republic of Crimea. Also, the cities of Kyiv and Sevastopol’ have special status. The Central government consists of executive, legislative and judicial branches.

Executive branch
The president is elected by popular vote for a five-year term and is eligible for a second term. Viktor Yuschenko, co-leader of the 2004 Orange Revolution, is the current president. The president is responsible for issuing decrees and orders, and preventing “any actions of the legislative, executive and judicial branches of power that directly or indirectly infringe [upon his interpretation of] the fundamental Law of Ukraine.” In other words, the president ensures that nothing is ever accomplished - a duty Yuschenko has excelled at throughout his presidency.
A new circus is coming! Presidential elections are scheduled for January 17, 2010. As it stands, the main candidates will be Viktor Yanukovych, Yuliya Tymoshenko, incumbent Viktor Yuschenko, Volodymyr Lytvyn and dark horse candidate Arseniy Yatseniuk (he’s the nerdy-looking guy on the striped billboard ads).

Legislative branch
The unicameral supreme council, known as Verkhovna Rada, consists of 450 deputies and is presided over by a speaker. Elections were last held in 2007, and five parties passed the required vote threshold of 3%. The current make up of this bitterly feuding, fund sucking, time wasting branch is as follows: The Party of Regions (175 seats), led by Viktor Yanukovych, is extremely popular in Ukraine’s industrial, Russian-speaking, eastern oblasts; Yuliya Tymoshenko Bloc (156 seats) is led by the current Prime Minister, whose popular slogan is “They’re betraying/talking/ blocking. She’s working.”; Our Ukraine/People’s Self Defence (72 seats), led by President Viktor Yuschenko, has been losing support steadily since 2004, but maintains a base among voters in the west; the Communist Party of Ukraine (27 seats) continues to be popular with pensioners and disillusioned citizens; Lytvyn bloc (20 seats) is led by current speaker Volodymyr Lytvyn, a man with gorgeous silver hair. 

Judicial branch
The legal system, based on civil law with judicial review of legislative acts, is topped by the Supreme Court and the Constitutional Court. We thought of adding a joke here, but realized that everything that happens in these halls of “justice” is far too disturbing to laugh at.