Indian cooking hits new depths of despair in Royal India, a half-hearted effort with a vapid atmosphere and dishes that clearly fall below par: don’t be surprised to find yourself discreetly coughing bits of chicken into your napkin. Indeed, you’ll find a better bird across the road in Kentucky Fried Colonel. Completing the picture are watery curries that have little or no hit, the madras included. ‘See you again,’ said the owner hopefully as we left. No, no chance.