Krakow

Flower Power

11 Oct 2017

Lads, listen up. In concert with the societal consensus that Polish women are beautiful, the country's daughters have been dutifully trained to wield their sex in the form of elaborate and flirtatious gender games, and you will be expected, if not helpless, to play along. One of the most important Polish courting rituals involves the presentation of flowers to your muse and her mother at almost every opportunity. The rules of this game are arbitrarily complex and antiquated but transpire to the effect of what follows: Always give an odd number of flowers (or stems) unless the occasion is a solemn one, and make sure to remove the paper before you arrive. Red is for love; pink is for potential mothers-in-law and also a good neutral fall-back colour when you're unsure of protocol; yellow is for envy and should probably be avoided. You can't go wrong with roses, chrysanthemums are for the dead and carnations are unpopular due to lingering communist connotations. The rest is on you; good luck and welcome to the 18th century.

In Kraków you'll find swanky 'floral studios' on practically every block. Cut flowers can also be bought on the main market square and at all of the open-air locations listed in Shopping under 'Markets'.

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